When I tell people that Tom and I met on the Internet seven years ago, I get the most amusing reactions. Even in this technologically advanced day and age, meeting someone over a computer gives one cause for concern. It wasn't as if we were flirting in a romance chat room though; we simply crossed paths on our screens the way one might have bumped in to someone on a train a hundred years ago.

I was wasting away a boring evening in a soap opera discussion room when he wondered in. He had stumbled obliviously on to this chat room completely unaware as to the nature of our discussion. Being the sole male in a room of rowdy women is not the best idea for finding romance. We were hardly in the mood for yet another virile male to wander unknowingly in to our chat room and interrupt our good-natured discussion with his desire to ‘hook up’ with one of us. Tom wasn't unknown to us, however. He was already known in our circle by another member in our group.

I always enjoy meeting new people. Having been raised in western Pennsylvania, I haven't had much opportunity to expand my horizons in this regard. Chatting with people from all over the world has always fascinated me. I've had pen-pals since I was a little girl from places as far away as Australia, India and Belgium. The Internet was a great resource for learning about different ways of life and lands that I'll most likely never been fortunate enough to visit in person.

During our chat, Tom had asked me for my e-mail address. During his first e-mail to me, I learned he was from Ottawa, Ontario – Canada’s capital. A few of the friends I'd made in this particular chat room were also Canadian so he instantly won my interest. He told me all about himself, from his line of work as a machinist to his pride in his hometown.

Over the next few months, we were nothing more than friends. We'd exchange e-mails occasionally and chat on ICQ when we were both online. He'd seen photos of me, but without a scanner, he didn't have access to send his photo to me. It didn't bother me that I didn't know what he looked like - we were friends and that's all that mattered.

That summer, our group had decided to meet in Toronto for a get-together. I had extended the invitation to Tom, but he declined to make the trip. Toronto was five hours away for him, and he said he simply couldn't make the trek. Even though we weren't romantically linked at the time, I was severly disappointed. The month or so leading up to the trip, my disappointment turned me against him. He and I rarely spoke.

When I returned from Toronto, I had so wanted to talk to him about my first experience in Canada. It would be weeks before we bumped in to each other again online. He seemed friendly but distant. Whatever romantic notions I might have had were gone. He obviously was no longer interested!

Eventually we did talk and our friendship began to deepen. We planned to meet in Toronto in June of 1999 with several mutual friends. We arranged to meet in a mall just outside of Scarborough. It was a Tuesday afternoon when my friends and I arrived. Tom was already there and waiting for us. It was such a shock to meet him finally! We spent the evening at the Pantages Theater watching Paul Stanley of Kiss perform in The Phantom of the Opera - our first official date. Needless to say, it was about as awkward as you can get. Chatting over a computer screen is one thing, a face-to-face encounter is quite another! We got along famously despite the initial quirks and when my stay in Toronto had ended, I accompanied Tom to Ottawa for two days to get to know him.

Ottawa is five hours north of Toronto, just on the border between Ontario and the french-speaking province of Québec. It has a beat all its own. Rather than the international urbane flair of Toronto, Ottawa is quaint and unique. With the Rideau Canal running through the heart of the city and the patina-colored roofs of the Parliament buildings, Ottawa is quite breathtaking.

We stayed in an old Victorian-style hotel downtown called the Doral Inn. Tom showed me all around the city and took me on a guided tour of the Canadian Parliament, Peace Tower & Senate. I knew there was something special about this guy when he drove me to Montreal just so that I could see a Montreal Expos baseball game! The Expos at that time were my favorite team. Even though Montreal was quite a drive from Ottawa, Tom never once complained. He handled the language difference with complete ease. I think that's when I truly began to fall in love.

Over the next few months, I would make several more trips to Ottawa to see Tom. In between visits, we talked on the phone for hours (sometimes falling asleep with the phone still in my hand). We chatted online nightly and exchanged several e-mails a day. There was no doubt about it – we were definitely in love.

e n g a g e d !

In September, I made yet another visit to see Tom. This trip was different, however. I knew before I left that Tom was planning on asking me to marry him. Although we hadn't known each other in person for more than 3 months, we'd been involved in each other's lives for over two years, talking with each other daily. He'd become my best friend. He was the first person I went to when I had good news or needed a shoulder to cry on. I could think of no one else that understood me in the way that he did or made me laugh as much. On Tuesday, September 14th, 1999 at 8:30 p.m. after a dinner at my favorite Greek restaurant in Ottawa, The Souvlaki House – Tom proposed. He had asked me to take a walk with him along the Rideau Canal but I obstinately refused due to the light drizzle of rain that evening. Looking frazzled, it was suddenly apparent that Tom neglected to have a backup plan. Sitting in the car the last evening before I was due to return to Pittsburgh, Tom asked me. It was official...we were engaged!

There was so much to be decided upon when I returned. First, I had to tell my family and friends. Second, we had to schedule a meeting with Immigration and Naturalization Services (INS) to determine how to legally get married. There was so much to plan!

Of course in between the working and planning, we spent the next year developing our relationship. Tom made his first trip to Pittsburgh and met my family and friends. We spent more nights than either of us cares to remember saying our tearful goodbyes at the two airports. It was nearly a bi-weekly occurance! Our phone and Internet service provider bills skyrocketed, too. We just couldn't wait to be together permanently.

m o v i n g   i n

Unless you've gone through it yourself, it's difficult to explain the daunting procedures necessary for an American to marry a Canadian. Besides all of the forms that we needed to fill out and mail back, there were fingerprints to obtain, photographs to be taken, records to retrieve, and even an interview Tom had to have in Montreal. It took over nine months, but once Tom's temporary visa was approved in February 2001 by INS to marry me, it was time to schedule the move. Tom put in his two-weeks notice at his machinist job in Ottawa, carefully packed and labeled all of his belongings and with his U-Haul truck rented, set out on a 10-hour journey to Pittsburgh. It was really happening. The first step towards spending the rest of our lives together was happening at last!

w e d d i n g   p l a n s

Now settled in to our new living arrangement, it was time to plan our wedding. We had exactly 90 days from the day he entered the country to legally marry and return the marriage certificate to INS for verification to adjust his status from temporary resident to permanent resident status. Whew! This didn't give us much time! Since my parents, unfortunately, were both deceased and Tom's parents were in Canada, we decided the best decision for us was to have a private destination wedding. Tom wasn't permitted to leave the U.S. for nine months so this ruled out the possibility to travel abroad. We had to find some location within the U.S. to hold the ceremony on short notice. Really short notice. We'd picked our wedding date - April 20th, 2001...the precise day we had met online three years earlier. Since we'd decided we wanted a garden ceremony, the location had to be someplace warm enough to hold it outdoors. We went back and forth over several places that would work. We finally settled on Colonial Williamsburg in Virginia. It was a beautiful location renowned for its breathtaking gardens in spring. It would be perfect for us. The fun was just beginning!

o u r   w e d d i n g